This advice applies mostly towards the guys, as they are more likely to focus on and talk about looks. But if compliments are used as pick-up lines before you even meet in person, they’ll just come across as creepy. Another way to stand out from the crowd and get noticed…Some men might think women like to be called “gorgeous,” “beautiful,” or “sexy” (and at the right time, most of them do). In addition, a guy who focuses on a woman’s looks by telling her how beautiful she is hints at the distinct probability that he’s not so beautiful himself. If you know the person’s name who you’re contacting, is it in the subject line of your message.But it’s the last thing you should say in your initial communications. The top three most popular ways to say “hello” all had something in common: they hurt more than they helped. One study showed a 42% increase in response rates when the viewer’s name was used during initial contact messages. Finding common ground is a time-honored way to make a connection with people you want to get to know better. Or better yet, refer to interests, experiences or things that seem important to your new friend, based on what you’ve read in their dating profile.
But apparently, a little hemming and hawing can work wonders for men online.
Messages containing the words “awkward,” “sorry,” “apologize,” and “probably” all seemed to help make men’s messages more successful.
The use of these words could make the male writers appear a bit unsure of themselves, thereby making them seem less threatening.
(not guesswork), thanks again to our friends at Ok Ok Cupid analyzed more than a half million “first contact” messages on their dating site.
These are the messages sent by one member to another initiating contact for the first time.
They ran the data through a program which analyzed keywords and phrases to see how they affected reply rates.
What they uncovered was a set of rules for what you should and shouldn’t say when introducing yourself or responding to someone else’s introduction. This means your initial communications with people should sound like they did in the days before the internet and texting. Use punctuation, full words and complete sentences.
Netspeak, poor grammar, and bad spelling are big turn-offs and frequent deal-breakers.
However, they did find that the “no netspeak” rule has exceptions when it comes to expressions of amusement. People are more likely to just stop reading when they see them.