I am a profoundly deaf oralist and have been since birth.I have been in various relationships with hearing people, but never a deaf person.No reason why not, just never met someone who interested me or was interested in me.
After a (long) while being single, I decided I would try the internet dating thing a try.
A number of my (hearing) friends have had great success with them. The rest continued talking for a while, but then either tailed off or ‘met someone else’. I made it clear that I was deaf, but iterated that I did not need to bring an interpreter to any dates because I speak. I had one woman email me saying that she understood about being deaf and dating as she had a kid! I even had a terp emailing me telling me that I was really brave for going on a hearing dating site! Yes, you may get fewer responses, but in the long run it is far less hurtful.
It was fun at first, writing a profile, and then looking for matches. Then we started talking about meeting up – this whole internet dating malarkey is paying off! Whether this is connected or not, I don’t know, but of the women who I was in conversation with, not one of them agreed to meet me after I revealed I was deaf. The number of views stayed the same, but the number of people contacting me tailed off quite significantly.
I sent a few emails to them saying ‘hey, your profile looks great, reply if you like mine’ or some other cheesy line. I arrange our first date, just a drink in a local pub. Understandably, she was nervous about meeting me – or so I thought! It couldn’t have been my face, she saw my profile picture. The next day, I sent her an email asking what I had done wrong. However, I still get an email every couple of weeks off a woman, and I have had a couple of very pleasant dates.
She arrived (which is a good start), I bought her a glass of wine and myself a pint of bitter. So off to the loo she popped……and she never came back! She replied back, apologetically and stated that she did not know I was deaf and it felt wrong to date a ‘vulnerable adult’!!
We sat down and started talking, firstly about the dating website and how we found it. Thinking back quickly through the conversation, could my job have put her off or did I inadvertently call her fat (she wasn’t)? Needless to say, I was somewhat offended and blocked her. This time, I shall tell them I am deaf before we meet. I got some views, people started messaging me and I hit it off with a few women….fantastic! ‘Just so you aware, I am deaf, but don’t worry, I can still talk and communicate with you’.
Then, after drinking about a quarter of our drinks, she suddenly went quiet and strange.
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