Sex with your housemate alters the comfortable, familiar, even familial relationship you had before. I heartily suggest a long conversation about what this means to you and how you will manage it before falling into bed.
One— you live happily ever after as a couple that might as well be married. Having carnal knowledge of each other, they are no longer just housemates. I call it The Incest Taboo and it is my fourth principle for living with housemates successfully. It might happen that two people who get to know each other in the daily rhythms of life find themselves falling in love.
In reality, there are only two long-term scenarios going forward. Or they became very close when they both had relationships break up and, well, you know.. ” The problem for housemates who have sex is that the relationship changes. How do they manage it if one person wants to break up? For housemates to live together comfortably, it is good to impose a complete and utter taboo on sex with each other.
Answers are full of young women agonizing about how to handle her feelings for the guy after a night…well, you know… More common is that the relationship between the two who slept together goes wonky pretty quickly. Emotions are stirred, expectations created, the relationship is no longer easy and comfortable. What happens when one makes plans that doesn’t include the other? In other words, someone – maybe both people – get hurt.
And if you can’t have a heart-to-heart real conversation about life and love, then you don’t have the communication to manage the changed relationship.
If you are going to have a love affair, one of you should move out first, then see if the relationship works. They met in a group home and started really liking each other.
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You can read about me here, peruse the archives here and read popular posts here.Today’s letter is answered by columnist and blogger, Billie Criswell.I’ve been living with my roommate for the past year and a half and so far I couldn’t find a better roommate.We just moved out of a group home and in to a 2-bedroom apartment a few months ago.For the past 6 to 8 months I’ve became very attracted to her and now that we’re living together I have grown to develop feelings to the point where I think about her all the time. We IM constantly about random things and if we’re not IMing, we’re texting.We have so many things in common and enjoy each other’s company.