Through the last fifteen years of being involved in the Indian community and interacting with many non-Indian, Western,and white women who struggle with relationships and commitments with their Indian boyfriends, I share the top three mistakes that most of these women make while trying to overcome the challenges of acceptance from their Indian boyfriend or to-be's family.
To many Westerners, the statement “I love you” often stands for a long-term commitment.
That is one reason why many American programs broach the hard choices people make and situations that arise when one partner says “I love you” and the other isn’t ready to say it yet.
This being said, when most American [women] hear the words “I love you,” they take this very seriously.
Due to mistake number one, she believes the man will do anything and everything in his power to create a long term commitment which will sooner than later evolve into marriage.
The problem is that in many Indian families, many may still believe love comes after marriage.
This is of course due to the arranged marriage which is prevalent among many segments of Indian society regardless of geography.
Thinking of this from the point of view of the Indian’s relationship with you, keep in mind he may hold back physical and emotional forms of affection as well as verbal confirmations of love. In fact, many Indian guys who really do love you will withhold this out of respect for you and wanting to reserve these special occasions for after tying the knot.
The problem here is that, in many Indian’s minds, they may not commit to any of these forms of affection until their parents have given the go-ahead.
His relationship with you in this case, is not separate from his relationship with his family in that way.
When his family accepts you; you are now family, so in his mind he is more willing to be open and available to you.
Due to the upsurge of the Internet, the incidence of cross-cultural love affairs takes place without the two people ever interacting face to face (in person as compared to Skype, which is not the same).