“I just feel invisible,” she said, throwing up her hands.The woman in front of me was a beautiful and successful barrister in her late 30s.
We started by working on her limiting beliefs, particularly the idea that she was less than anyone else because of her race.
Eventually, this black butterfly came to see herself as the shining beauty that she is internally.
Then she was able to put her best foot forward externally with a profile that reflected her charm, grace, and inner loveliness.
She’s now been with her beau – a wonderful man — for a little over a year.
She says he makes her feel special, but this is just the icing on the cake as she knows in her core that she is worthy and deserving of all good.
Feeling invisible is a common refrain that I have heard from black women of all backgrounds.Some feel as though the men they are interested in often overlook them.There’s also the feeling that the men that are interested in them, don’t quite measure up to their standards or expectations.Sure, everyone has preferences in matters of love, but when the majority of men seem to want women who don’t look like you, this is daunting to say the least. While we can’t control anyone else’s interests and desires, we can learn how to present ourselves in the best light.There is a line between preference and prejudice, but again, you cannot control anyone else. As with my coaching client, work on your inner sense of self-worth first, and then you can present yourself to your potential mates as your best self.So once our inner game is “tight,” how do we raise our VQ, Visibility Quotient?